I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
