an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
