She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
