loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
