yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
