I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
