i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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