i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
