So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
