just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
