Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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