2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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