In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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