she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
