Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
