soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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