You work out of a Hotel?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
