I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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