I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
