You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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