All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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