the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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