You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
We just shotgunned beers for America
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Randomize
