So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just gift wrapped bread.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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