you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
