im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
