On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
