Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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