He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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