Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
