He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
