Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize