i jhust puked up my retainher.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
