the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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