be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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