I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
