Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I supernannyed him into submission
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
