I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
