We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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