We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
