Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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