It's like God shit irony all over that family
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
