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Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
so let's talk penis.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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