She is in my trunk
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
