yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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