the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
