So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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