i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
what is it with giant penises always finding me
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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