just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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