remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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