this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
