i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
