is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
In America we eat man semen.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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