You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
