Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
His hands were made for my vagina.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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