Your dad touched me again.
I think my vagina is haunted
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
