I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
