she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
