don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
