we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Randomize
