that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
