you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
