btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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